Encouragement vs. Praise

As a preschool teacher, I want to be loving and nurturing and reinforce all wonderful things about the children that I spend time with every day.  And I do.  I just don't do it the way some people do it.  It may look funny to some parents or observers in my classroom, so I want to explain what it looks like here and why.

I try very hard not to praise children.  Does that sound harsh?  Probably (and I am human so I won't say I NEVER praise them, I just try not to).  The problem with praise is that it places all the child's self-esteem on what I think instead of what they think.  Of course, I love everything they do and especially when they have made some sort of progress, I want them to know that they are awesome, so what I do is ask questions.  Example:

Child is working on writing their name, but there is a letter they are having trouble with.  They finally make the letter, bring it to me and say, "TA-DA!"

I say, "How did you do that?"

Child says, "It just came out of my fingers!" with a huge smile. 

Not only did they accomplish this amazing thing, but they could teach me how they did it.  That's worth way more than me saying,  "That's wonderful."

Another example:

Child is working on an art project, really considering what materials to use, and using them exactly the way they want to. 
I say, "Tell me about your work."
Child beams as he tells me about the colors and materials and how he made his project.  I smile and ask a few more questions about "special" materials he might want to use.
He thinks about it and says, "No thanks."

In both of these situations, if the child asked me what I thought and I raved over it, that reinforces that they NEED my approval, which they don't.  Also, everything isn't perfect and amazing and spectacular, and nor should it be.  That's okay.  We would never learn anything if we were always the best at everything.  With a few questions and a smile, THEY are proud of their work. 

Hopefully, as these children grow up, they will be more willing to try new things and make mistakes because the world won't end if things aren't "perfect" every time.